Swiss nuked

Saturday, July 7th, 2001 - 9:21 pm PDT

The United States launched a massive nuclear strike against Switzerland today, wiping out most of its population of just over 7 million, and leaving their country a wretched wasteland. Asked by an appalled UN council for the justification for such a brutal attack, president Bush responded, “they was frontin’.” He further urged that all nations of the world think about the fate of the Swiss before ever badmouthing the United States again.