Holy shit

Friday, April 27th, 2001 - 11:10 pm PDT

Crowds of the devout flocked in pilgrimage from across the nation today after news broke that Rev. Smith had produced a lump of feces in the shape of a cross. Regarded by most Christians as the world’s only living prophet, Smith experienced the divine dump after days of intense religious meditation. A new order or monks calling themselves The Brotherhood of the Blessed Bowel Movement has been entrusted by The Church to watch over this most holy relic.