Jam brings about peace

Saturday, April 14th, 2001 - 8:47 pm PDT

For an all-too-brief period this afternoon, global peace was fully realized, with no acts of violence or ill will occurring anywhere in the world for a stretch of nearly four hours. Political science experts are unanimous is citing an “open mike” style musical Peace Jam held in San Francisco, featuring a short set by The Human Heads as the direct cause for this anomaly. Upon the jam’s conclusion, worldwide bloodshed and malice returned to their standard levels.