Smith diagnosed with SIDS

Monday, February 19th, 2001 - 9:45 pm PST

A regular checkup brought unexpected and traumatic news today as Rev. Smith was diagnosed with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Only the fourteenth adult to ever test positive for SIDS, Smith immediately became a celebrity spokesperson. “There is no known cure for SIDS,” said Smith gravely on national television, “so I’m pretty screwed.” Doctors believe Smith’s sudden death could happen at any time within the next 70-80 years.