Monolith found; effects unclear

Thursday, January 4th, 2001 - 9:38 am PST

While digging up his backyard to install a new septic tank, Rev. Smith today stumbled upon a medium-sized shiny black monolith which seems to have been purposefully buried there. After hesitating, Smith touch the monolith which soon began emitting a terrible high-pitched tone. Later in the day, Smith found that his word-finding ability in Boggle had nearly doubled and also that his computer was secretly plotting to kill him.