“Tastes like chicken”

Tuesday, October 17th, 2000 - 6:40 pm PDT

Trapped for more than 100 hours in the rubble of a weekend earthquake in San Francisco that measured 8.4 on the Richter scale, Rev. Smith was forced to gnaw off and eat his own left arm, surviving off its sustenance for days while waiting to be rescued.  Having barely survived the ordeal, Smith is now taking pains to make sure his replacement arm is made from space-age polymers which are at least 80% more earthquake-proof than standard human flesh.