Disaster narrowly avoided

Friday, July 21st, 2000 - 5:42 pm PDT

Widespread catastrophic disaster of worst kind was believed certain to strike as of noontime today, with most people having given up all hope of survival by 1pm.  By 2:30, a general panic had set in as swarms of people took to the streets, not knowing what to do in the face of the imminent cataclysm that had sealed their fate.  Then by 3:00, people realized that there was nothing to be worried about after all and went on with their lives.