Lard is good food

Thursday, June 1st, 2000 - 5:31 pm PDT

New findings in this month’s Boston Medical Journal show that a long-term diet of high-fat foods renders one nearly impervious to all known diseases. Foods singled-out for their beneficial effects included rich creamy ice cream, chicken-fried steak with gravy, and buttered cheese. “So long as you avoid taxing exercise that strains your body,” said one researcher, “such a diet could render you nearly immortal.”