GOD calls Rev. Smith

Friday, May 19th, 2000 - 4:15 pm PDT

On his way to Taco Bell today, Rev. Smith was called on by GOD. “I have arbitrarily chosen you,” said GOD. “You and your descendants will be favored among men. I will bring you into a land already occupied by others, kill off the current occupants and call it yours. Your people must show devotion to me by wearing facial pants.” “Facial pants?” asked Smith. “You know, like pants…” said GOD, “for your face.”