Smith into self-mutilation

Saturday, May 6th, 2000 - 2:18 am PDT

Reports from a wide variety of tabloid newspapers today are running a story about Rev. Smith’s supposed habits of self-mutilation. The story is accompanied by shockingly graphic photographs of Smith using a small metal device to cut his own fingernails shorter than they would naturally grow. There are also unsubstantiated rumors that Smith subjects himself to bi-monthly “haircuts”.