Smith constructs time machine

Friday, April 14th, 2000 - 12:56 pm PDT

After years of research and countless hours of round-the-clock construction, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith has finally developed a working time machine.  This early model is not without its restrictions, explained Smith, as it can only travel forward in time not backward.  Nonetheless, its first test was an unqualified success.  “This morning I stepped into the machine and set it for an hour into the future.  After a grueling sixty-minute journey, I had arrived in the future,” smiled Smith, “exactly on time.”