Wednesday 5\07\08 - 1:05 PM GMT
The Brick Testament: The Temple of Yahweh
Though it more commonly goes by the name of "Solomon's Temple" or "The First Temple", the true name of the most famous building endeavor from the reign of King Solomon is The Temple of Yahweh. And in this week's update of The Brick Testament, the world can finally behold this sacred ancient monument in perhaps its most beautiful form, rendered entirely out of LEGO bricks. While Solomon spent seven years constructing this house for God, he spent nearly twice as long on a fancy-shmancy house for himself. Finally, at the end of this building spree, Yahweh himself appears to Solomon to give him a friendly reminder that if he or his descendants ever fail to follow The Law or worship any other god, he'll eradicate Israel.

Saturday 5\03\08 - 9:26 PM GMT
Smith has new lease on life
This week, Rev. Smith negotiated a new 10-year lease on life. Under the terms of the agreement, Smith will pay monthly fees of $417, a number derived by taking the Capitalized Cost (the value of Smith's life today) and subtracting the Residual Value (the estimated remaing value of Smith's life ten years from now), then multiplying it by an Annual Percentage Rate of 4.3%, and dividing by the 120 months covered under the terms of the lease. At the end of the lease period, Smith will have the option to buy his life at its depreciated value. Should he subject himself to excess wear and tear, or terminate his lease before the end of the 10-year period, Smith will face additional fees.

Wednesday 4\30\08 - 1:32 AM GMT
Americans carrying around bags of feces
In an alarming and disturbing trend, many American suburbanites and city-dwellers have taken to walking around their own neighborhoods carrying bags of feces. Though experts observers have yet to determine the signifigance of or reasoning behind what has now become a daily ritual for millions of Americans, some common threads have been noted among the feces transporters: They are most likely to perform their ritual in the early morning or just after returning from work. They do not exit their homes with the feces, but instead seek out and then place into bags fresh feces found outdoors. Many are so protective of their feces that they keep a dog at their side for protection.

Saturday 4\26\08 - 3:39 PM GMT
The Brick Testament: Solomon Gets Wise
A new section of The Brick Testament launches today, covering the stories of King Solomon. Our first set of stories finds the newly-crowned king tying up some loose ends left unfinished during the reign of his father David, and by "tying up loose ends" I mean carrying out a series of strategic murders and vengeance killings. Next we discover that the whole slavery / Ten Plagues thing is apparently all water under the bridge as Solomon marries the daughter of the Pharaoh of Egypt, then heads up to Gibeon to sacrifice 1,000 animals and afterwards gets blessed by Yahweh with great wisdom. It's not long before Solomon's awe-inspiring wisdom is put on display, and word-of-mouth brings folks from around the world to Jerusalem just to hear him speak.